This Question Will Remain "Open" Until Monday Night May 15, 2006.
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johnny127 |
Question #7 - Pros & Cons of: Dad Coaches |
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Should Dads be allowed to Coach teams their children play for?
This Question Will Remain "Open" Until Monday Night May 15, 2006. |
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NHL Trivia |
Re: Question #7 - Pros & Cons of: Dad Coaches | ||
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If they have the quality, why not? I could name at least 10 coaches in Illinois who I would have my son play for even if their kid was on it. I could name daddy coaches at Chill, TI, Mission, CYA, Blues, Glenview, and a couple of other AA organizations that I wouldn't have a problem putting my son their team.
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Hockey Angel |
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We have had two "Dad Head Coaches" throughout my son's little hockey life. One was terrific. Very knowledgeable, consistent development, and FAIR. He was a very good coach and we were lucky to have him. He gave 100% to each skater, not just his son. I know my son would skate for him again if the opportunity ever showed itself. He still coaches today and the people we talk to just love him. The other was the complete opposite. He was short-tempered, inconsistent and even though he had many years of personal hockey experience he let his personal feelings interfere with the success of the team as a whole. So it all depends on the individual. I would definitely not shy away from a "Dad Coach". Also, "Dad assistant coaches" that we have experienced have been outstanding. I would just do my homework first to see what their history is. Hockey Angel
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winner2006 |
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Great post, Hockey Angel! I'm glad to see that a dad head coach was fair, had a lot to offer, and everyone liked him! I agree with everything you say in your post. Before, you go play for a dad coach. You should check up on what their personality is first. Also, talk to other people that had him.
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street fighter09 |
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NO! I have not seen 1 dad coach not favor his son or friends on the team. It's not fair and it's not what we're paying for.
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Swami 22 |
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This is the third time I've attempted to put down my thoughts. So, instead of putting down a lot of subjective detail, I'll base what I'm about to say on our personal experience.
Dad coaches are perfectly fine at the lower levels of hockey, like house, bronze, silver and gold travel. However, at the higher levels (AA Elite, CSDHL and Tier 1) it should definitely be non dad coaches whenever possible. As much as I hate to admit it, our experience has been much like sf09's, regardless of the level of play, and we've actually seen it tear one team apart. |
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johnny127 |
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Not too much happening with this debate question and I'm not sure if we are just busy or not interested. This being said I will leave it "open" until Monday night the 22nd. I will post my thoughts in the end.
JK- |
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luv2dance18 |
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Swami - Thanks for putting my thoughts into words. I have not responded until now because my feelings are mixed and you stated it perfectly. I see the advantage and disadvantage to both viewpoints. In younger ages it doesn't seem to matter as much. When the kids are young, if they are getting the skating skills and the development of how to play the game, that is what counts.
But the pressure to perform in AAA makes a huge difference. I've seen dads at AA and AAA who coach and have seen them be harder on their kid(s) than other players on the team. I've seen more favoritism of a child at house and AA levels. Either way it causes problems down the line when dads are coaching their own kid(s). for you words!
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Trixie |
Re: Question #7 - Pros & Cons of: Dad Coaches | ||
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I would say the answer truly depends on the "dad coach" and his reputation.
Back when my son first started playing in house, there was a head dad coach who played his own kid until this kid was exhausted. Don't get me wrong, the coach knew the game, but the "favoritism" that he extended his own kid bit him in the behind. After several parents complained, Hockey Director spoke to him about it, and yet it continued. From what I understand, this daddy-coach continued to play his kid the majority of time for years at this club. Guess what? His kid no longer plays due to burnout (yes, at HOUSE level!) Dad no longer coaching. Also, witnessed an assistant dad coach who was quite friendly with head coach, and had a kid who was a goalie. Isn't it amazing that assistant coach's kid got most of the time in net? This was at a first year squirt house level. What happened to equal ice time--especially at house level? Several years later after seeing back-up goalie play against the "preferred" goalie in several Spring league games, head coach came up to back-up goalie's parents and apologized for not giving their kid more of a chance to be in net years back, said he made a big mistake and admitted that assistant coach was pressuring head coach to play his kid. Head coach finished with raving about former "back-up's" skills who outplayed coach-daddy's kid in all of the spring league games. Sounds like hockey karma to me. I personally can understand where a coach would want to coach his son's team...for time management issues alone. It's much easier if dad and child BOTH have to go to the rink for a game or a practice at the same time for a whole season! To juggle daddy-coach's schedule and junior's schedule is tough, especially if there is a time/game conflict between the two. I think it would be interesting to ask the kids of some of the coach dad's out there how they feel about their dad's coaching on their team. In some ways, I could see it bringing coach and son closer together sharing some quality time. In other ways, child might desire to have his hockey experience be his alone--just sharing time on the ice with his team-mates/friends and not one of his parents. Personally, I've witnessed some great coach daddies assist the head coach throughout the years my son has been on the ice. They were absolutely fabulous and shared so much with my son. Some were paid (or had a reduction in son's fee's, some were volunteers.) I'm from the camp that says you can never have enough exposure to people who share your love of the game. Each coach (whether he's someone's daddy or not) has the ability to make a difference in a kid's skill level and be generous enough to share their years of experience and passion. My son's been very blessed in this area, and no matter what rink he walks into, runs into some really great men who helped him become the player he is today. BIG-time thanks to all those men! |
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winner2006 |
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Trixie said, "Each coach (whether he's someone's daddy or not) has the ability to make a difference in a kid's skill level and be generous enough to share their years of experience and passion."
Absolutely!
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street fighter09 |
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I am CON to Dad coaches because it's too much of a risk. Usually, dad coaches have a slight bias. And the parents are always looking for any kind of bias within dad coaches so they have excuses and someone to blame. It's just natural human nature.
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Hockey Angel |
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Yep, I know what Street Fighter is saying. I experienced the "Dad coaching syndrome" at its worst this week-end and my opinion of them has been drastically hurt. My son's travel bb team had its first tourney. 5 games, 6 inning max. The coaches kids were switched to the most wanted positions -- 1st base, pitcher, SS. Batting orders were changed. We have 12 total on our team and the coaches kids played either an entire game or sat 1 inning. Others sat 2 and sometimes 3 out of 6 innings. All it managed to do was bring down the other kids on the team. The parents were not happy about it and we wound up losing every game by a large margin even though we have/had a really good team prior with a record of 10-2. Coaches like that are the ones who ruin it for the lot.
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HockeyGuy57 |
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I say no to Dad coaches at the travel level. When families pay the monies they do for travel hockey they want to be sure that their sons or daugthers are being treated fairly. Most coaches are on the up and up but there are always a few (see examples above) who truly can't see past their bias for their own child. My son has been fortunate in that every head coach he's had has been a non-parent. We've had a couple of Dad assistant coaches and this has led to a few problems because their kids seem to be on the ice at critical times at the expense of others. As a hockey guy I would love to coach my son. I think I could do a better job than a few of the coaches we've have. But the second quessing and hell I catch from the parents it not worth the effort.
At the house level I believe Dad coaches are a necessity. They have my support for volunteering their time. |
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johnny127 |
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This will be the final thought on this topic for the Archives version of this debate. It remains open here for anyone Registered to still give any thoughts and/or concerns on this topic.
Okay here is the last post for the "open" forum. Keep in mind that this might get a bit long and seem to be somewhere in left field. I have a "life" story that in my mind mirrors Dad coaches. I have a family business and have been part of working within it since I was about 11 years old in some fashion. I would often hear how easy I had it and how great it would be. Well this may appear like the life of Reily and maybe in time it in fact can be. It takes years of "make it or break it" to know the true outcome. I worked day to day with my uncle and my cousin, his daughter at one store while my sister worked day to day with my father, years later. I would often wonder if my friends faced the same criticizing of things done wrong during their day at dinner, breakfast and lunch. I also thought about how full of mistakes and errors my life was obviously headed towards based on the: You're not doing this right and What's wrong with you to not see what's right in front of you. These memories come rushing right back to the front of my mind when I look out onto the ice and hear some of these Dads with the same demeaning tone to their voices. Today as an adult I can actually hear love and concern in my adults ears but the child in me still hears the criticism and feel what some of these kids must be feeling I can imagine. I believe it's the years of this that created the character and good qualities I have today, along with many issues I think might never be reversed. This is a short version of my "Dad" coach and for the most part I have no regrets outside of a difficult relationship my father and I still share today. I found that, as we all do, that the things our parents always said begin to make sense as we mature and get older. Here's the flip side of that coin. My cousin on the other hand used and abused the "My Daddy" thing to become a much different person than I. Better or worse? Neither, just different. One of us had the "too hard" on you "coach" while the other had to "too easy" "coach". So do I believe in Dad coaches? Honestly I don't know but I do know that all of the parents here and everywhere are constantly "coaching" their children and as we all recall, tuning out plenty of what's being said. So as a parent let me ask you..? Do you want to find yourself in a position that may damage the relationship you now share with those children? Is it the child who asks his/her father or mother to coach them or is it the parent making this choice for said children? What harm comes to those children, majority, that are never coached in the game of hockey? Is there a down side to NOT coaching them? Ask yourself the same thing about coaching them. As for the favoritism that parents think they see in Dad coaches, if not a father coach then there is just another reason parents find for why these children are the chosen one or few. Ever hear it's because that kid is the coaches godparent or best friends kids and so on? I know I have and in situations that never warrant it. Yes sometimes they do, but I wouldn't say it's anywhere near 50/50 from my experience. I can only imagine what these Dads feel and face in themselves. Am I too hard on our kid, am I too easy, I just don't know honey, each and everyday when the day is over I can only imagine. As for the assistant coach factor, easy fix. Your kid plays "D" then that dad works the forwards and visa versa. Just my thoughts... for your time!JK- |
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retiredekin |
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My best friend's dad was the coach of my travel team and it worked out alright. He actually picked me for the All-Star team and didn't pick his son.
For the most part it was fine. |
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